5 Signs You're Definitely a Dave

Not a personality test. A reckoning.

  1. You've answered to Dave, David, Davy, and "hey you" in the same afternoon and only corrected one of them.
  2. Your favorite hat has emotional baggage. It's been to cookouts it doesn't discuss.
  3. Your group chat nickname is a Dave variant. Soft Dave. Feral Dave. Tax-season Dave. Taxonomy is destiny.
  4. You will monologue about one niche topic until the room goes quiet — and call that "good conversation."
  5. Generic "World's Best Dad" merch makes you itchy. Correct. You're not Generic Dad. You're Dave. Slightly worse. Much funnier.

Three or more? Congrats. You're not curing anything — you're certified.

Put it on a hat → What Would Dave Do?
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